When they said it might sing, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
I think my dinner is possessed.
Oh my god I can’t I’m crying 😂😭😂😭
We’re at a family reunion and some dude asked my dad when I was getting married and with a totally straight face my dad was like “we’re just going to give her to whichever young man can provide us with the largest flock of goats”
the only exercise i ever do is walking from my bed to the potty then fridge then back to bed
yeah i got money
If chocolate money had actual cash value, not only would I be broke, I’d be fatter.
He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)
bless this man
I once drank with Hannibal. True story.
You don’t know how hard this made me laugh.
I was the only one in the theater laughing out loud at this part
being really excited about something your parents don’t care about